It sounds like part of the problem involves his actions, his decisions, his behaviors. Alas, I know of no way of controlling those things. You can only control your own actions, decisions, and behaviors. The most you can do is plead with him but that doesn't mean he'll do what you want. You'll have to decide how you'll respond to his decision.
So right now you are all living under one roof? There is you, him, two other ladies, and two children? I just want to make sure I have the correct picture of the situation.
Sounds like part of the problem is your work situation, which is frustrating to you. Can you change shifts or jobs?
Does he place special restrictions on your behavior, or is it mostly just a situational thing?
I'll try to help if I can.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"