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Old 06-19-2013, 03:24 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 5,884

Originally Posted by Wifeto2 View Post
Dh and I have been married and in a mono relationship for 9 years. We have had our up and downs. We have had threesomes over the past 9 years though we have specifically been mono for the last 5.
So you weren't mono for the first few years, you had casual swinger type sex some.

We have talked off and on about having a "sister wife"
A sister wife in the religious sense is 2 women, one man, the women each have sex with the man separately, and do not have sex with each other (F on F).

(I know unicorn hunters).
That is more accurate, a 2 bi women, one straight guy, 3way sex. Usually poly fidelitous, no other lovers for anyone.

Dh and I split up last summer for a few months to work on ourselves and see if we were still where we wanted to be as far as us. Me and gf met and became friends that summer. I started to really care for her. About a month ago gf had a problem with her oldest daughter and asked for us to help. We did. Dh and gf became close. We started calling her our gf. She loved it and we moved things forward. Things became sexual about two weeks ago.
So things got a bit dire with your h, to the point of separating... then you somehow met this woman and fell in love. Then you and dh got back together (maybe still some unresolved issues there), and somehow she also had feelings for him. Had you and her had sex before she met dh or did things not become sexual at all til the man arrived on the scene?

We have rules( gf is fine with them and knows if she feels her needs are not being we will talk and make adjustments)
1. no sex for dh and her without myself being involved. and vice versa.
Probably not the greatest idea.

2. talk, talk, talk talk
3. (this one is loosing up) he cannot cum in her.
Becoming fluid bonded already? After 2 sex sessions? Has everyone been tested for STDs?

Dh is only home on the weekends because of his job. We had a great first sex experience.
Do you get to hang out with new gf during the week? Does she not have sex one on one with you?

This past weekend we focused our attention on gf because she wasn't feeling good and both of us wanted to make her feel good. We spent hours making her cum. Then when she was finished, I wanted some attention and of course dh was done in 2 min. (Usually we lasts hours).
So, great for her... for you, left unsatisfied?

The next day I tried starting to do stuff with dh and he just kept giving reasons not to. Then gf would walk in and he would all of sudden want to. It was like a switch, gf in sexual stuff pouring out, gf leave it shut down. That night she was sleeping in our bed and I wanted some. He didn't want to do anything unless she was involved "because it wasn't fair to her". I loved the fact that she got off the night before but was still sexually frustrated and wanted it to be just the two of us. We didnt have anywhere to do it but in our bed where gf was. So I agreed that he could play with her but we were to have intercourse. We got in there and he started playing. Was hard as a rock, until she wasn't showing any interest of doing anything. It went soft like he had one of our kids walk in. The rest of the night he couldn't keep it up. I said something because I was so upset.
Glad you said something.

He tried to make it up to me the next day but same thing, he couldn't perform. Now I'm sitting here frustrated in every area. We have talked about it and he thinks it was because she s new and his dick wasn't used to so much attention.
This is called "new relationship energy" in poly circles. Men and women go through it, the extra excitement for sex and being with the new partner. It needs to be managed or sometimes the first partner can feel left out. Sometimes you might feel renewed desire for your first partner (as you do), sometimes you just want the new partner (as he does). Too bad you're at odds here.

I'm frustrated because I'm sitting here wondering if he is going to be able to cum with just me again. It make me seriously upset.
Will he or you ever cum for each other again? Probably, but you should be aware of this NRE thing and work hard to manage it.

Just to clarify. I do not want gf to go anywhere. I really care for her and want her happiness, dh happiness and our happiness. I love having her around.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
In a newish relationship with Steve, (33, poly)
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
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