Originally Posted by london
Ok.You have issues in you're marriage right now and the fact that your spouse might not want to be your marriage right now is a possibility. You have to ask him. If he does want to be in the marriage and you fear him preferring her over you, you could close your relationship because obviously just ending things with her wouldn't eradicate that fear. Closing your relationship, however, might make him resent you and he could be tempted to cheat. You don't want that. So you could continue with this triad and relax the rules around sex, because after all, you're going to ask him, without repercussions, if he still wants to be married to you. You're going to emphasise that these are three separate relationships that you are having and you want to know what he thinks about your relationship. You know relationships are fluid, being a triad might involve you having a less sexually focused relationship with your husband, hot triad sex and hot sex with your girlfriend. If you need someone, perhaps male, to have sex with, polyamory allows for it. You just have to let go and trust.
Thank you for your constructive input. I do want to continue this triad. I care for her a lot and love him. I know there is four relationships here, him and me, him and her, her and me, and the three of us. From talking I see that it is just me being insecure, what tips do you have for me getting over that? We have discussed and he does want to continue our marriage as well as continue our triad. He has already given the go ahead for her and I to do stuff though I'm not quite ready. We snuggle but that's as far as it has gone without dh around.