Feeling betrayed over an affair before me...
Needing a sounding board.
Found out my partner had a long term love affair on his wife long ago.
I'm feeling very hurt, because he did not disclose it to me before.
He told me about all the other affairs... Physical flings, before they both agreed on pursuing poly.. which was after he discovered she was currently in a long term affair (which he now compared to the affair he just disclosed.)
Now he is evasive and slinging shots that I should understand and how he never questioned any of my former relationships. I'm feeling hurt and confused, like he had the affair on me, and lied by omission.
He was so upset about her long-term secret affair that it almost destroyed their marriage. Now I learn he did the same except it ended before she found out? He would not even reply if she now knows about that one.
Any consoling words?
I'm feeling like I have no right to be feeling hurt.
Me - self defined as monogamish: currently physically monoganous, emotionally poly
Sunshine - my committed partner, poly, married to S
S - my metamour, poly, married to Sunshine, multiple partners