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Old 06-18-2013, 06:33 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 646

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Thanks for your words. It's given me a bit of hope that someone might decide to be monogamous with me if we should chose.
Of course they would. You are bright, interested in the world, interesting and clearly lots of fun to be around - enough people who know you have written here for that to be clear. Plus monogamy is by far the norm - it is easier by far to find monogamous partners than poly ones. Just the odds make it more likely - if that is something that you choose.

I hear it but unfortunately I have also heard from Mono things that have made that change for me. He has expressed how it makes no difference what I do, where I am and whom I'm with. He says he doesn't miss me and hasn't for a long time. He feels nothing when I'm gone and doesn't wish to be with me any more.
Is it possible that he sometimes speaks in anger or in fear and doesn't entirely mean those words? It seems to me like he very often says that he loves and cares for you. Even recently, he has been making efforts - wasn't there something about making it easier for you to go biking with him?

You know what bugs me about poly? When people are struggling and having a hard time they go to find other partners elsewhere to get their needs met and make themselves feel better.
This isn't just about romantic relationships. People do it with dogs too - they have one that just isn't quite what they want. They love the dog but the dog isn't perfect. Maybe it isn't physically capable of doing a sport they want to do or it can't cope with walks in busy places or it doesn't like strangers. Rather than find ways to build that relationship and find other things that the dog can do, sometimes people will add another dog to the household - one that can do whatever it is that they want to do.

Probably it happens with children as well.

I don't get it. I shall continue this on my own blog, though rather than take up yours.

I hope today is a good one for you.

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