Originally Posted by redpepper
You know what bugs me about poly? When people are struggling and having a hard time they go to find other partners elsewhere to get their needs met and make themselves feel better. If something isn't going right it seems a lot easier to just add another person to the mix rather than sort out what the jist is of the problem. I have noticed that all that does is cause more instability, more uncertainty and eventually makes a person decide to act based on someone else's decision to add someone to their lives rather than on the real issues at hand. I get that sometimes it just takes too long etc etc.... there are obviously some circumstances that are differing, but I have noticed this readily. Poly fail as far as I am concerned. Stuff just doesn't go away... it gets worse and creates changes that aren't necessarily what would of been if there wasn't partners cluttering up the mix....
and yes, I did this too.
This is my complaint with people. Its not just poly. That is the prefaceof serial monogamy as well.
That is precisely why I don't have time for any more relationships. Because I try to be all I can be in both of my romantic relationships. Not just get whats missing as I string along a series of lovers.