I don't doubt that she loves you. I don't doubt that you love her. But you two each want something fundamentally different. She wants to be your one and only. Nothing wrong with wanting to have that type of relationship. However, that is not the type of relationship that you want. So the basis of the relationship between you is that you are both doing all of this manipulative shit in order to get the other to fit into the mold you have each designed for the other.
And your are both doing this in the name of love. Sheesh! Show each other some true love by respecting each other's personal choices. Yes, it may mean you can't be together as lovers, but it might keep you from destroying one another.
I shudder to think of a baby being brought into this unstable situation.