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Old 06-17-2013, 06:36 PM
onoma onoma is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 78

Originally Posted by kkxvlv View Post
Sounds more like she needs to have someone new lined up before she's willing to give up the security of having you at home. Either that or shes trying to call your bluff on this whole open relationship thing and get you to marry her before she lets someone else knock her up.
I've also been worrying that she was trying to force me to marry her. Withholding sex for months, spending all her time with me, telling me she can only have sex in terms of a permanent relationship.

Here's the scary part, I kind of fell for it. We had a fight (over text message) on Friday, because I was feeling lonely and asked her to sleep with me. (Sleep, not necessarily sex.)

I had been thinking of just doing it, mostly to make her happy, and then just worrying about the open relationship thing later. I think partly out of loneliness, partly because we are always together, partly because I do love her and want her to be happy. So at like 2 in the morning I just texted her that she'd won, we can start working on kids right away... blah blah blah. Saturday morning she asked me if I was serious, and the thing is that I was serious when I said it...

...but that's also when she told me she had started dating. She hadn't told me before, or honestly I'd have been out looking for my own date on Friday instead of texting her and feeling lonely. So while I was ok with it and trying to figure out how to work things out, I couldn't resolve being told "sex is only for a permanent relationship" vs. "I'm going to have a bunch of one-night stands to get pregnant." I also wondered why she could break her morals, since she's never had a ONS before because she thinks it's immoral, in order to have a baby but wouldn't break them in order to have a baby with me.

So yeah, now I'm scared and confused and maybe grasping at straws.

Frankly the whole relationship sounds terribly manipulative on both sides. You both knew there was a dealbreaker between you and figured you'd just wait it out until one of you changed.
Well, I wasn't waiting for her to change. I just figured I'd have a girlfriend for a few months (she was supposed to find a job/move away relatively fast, but it never happened) then move on. If that had happened, I'd probably be ok... but she didn't move. She didn't break up with me. She stayed with me, but cut me off from most physical intimacy.

On her end she kept telling me we were together just because her life wasn't in order yet. One time when I said we should break up, she actually broke down crying about not having anything else in her life... so we stayed together. She's only recently admitted she kept hoping for me to change...

So yeah... I'm kinda screwed now.
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