Originally Posted by london
Do you prioritise people or events?
For some people, their husbands golf fun day will always trump their boyfriends super hugely important work function thing simply because he is the spouse, the primary, and he comes first. Other people prioritise by event. In the situation described above, they'd put the work thing of their boyfriends before the golf thing because it's more important on the grand scale of important things in life. This means that the primary relationship gets next to no privilege. Nothing will ever come first just because you are the spouse. Would this work for you? Do you put people over events? Do you require a more concise hierarchy than this?
No hard and fast rules, but in general the way we manage it is based on emotions and how important the other people feel the event is.
So neither depending on the event, nor on the person, but based on a situation by situation evaluation.
The one thing we do do, which I think is only polite and I would do the same with friends, so obviously also with partners, is to ask the other person who you made the plans with first if they are ok with it.
If all are adults and the previous plans really aren't that important, that shouldn't be a problem.