@Dagferi, thank you! that was insightful. I know a lot of it is my own issues too..i want for flirting, more touching, and more affectionate texts etc. I need a lot, and thats not really his problem. i guess I can just ask him not to go into the spouse stuff, but I also dont want to be shutting him out in anyway.
Silly, but part of what got me on the cuddling comment was im going over there later to cuddle on the same couch. i know it doesnt matter, i know i like being poly, yet sometimes these little silly things get me!
keep on keeping on