I really feel I let K down today, but it's repairable. Nothing relationship related, but I finally found something she is very interested in - SCUBA diving. Many years ago, she spent 6 months in Venezuela and that was their weekend activity. She is so hard to get to voice her wants and needs, but I re-stumbled on it and you could see the interest in her eyes when I brought it up.
I did have some trepidation. I get a bit of anxiety snorkeling if I can't easily clear my snorkel. But I was willing to try. The first two pool days were fine, though I don't think quickly enough. Enough practice though, and it should become second nature.
I went for my first lake dive on Saturday. Let me tell you... being 20 feet under the water, with 5 foot visibility and nobody in sight isn't the most calming experience. I didn't panic though - almost... but i didnt- went back to the surface, and the assistant trainer brought be back down to the group.
After some time down there, I was calmer. I was able to look around a bit. Mostly a murky green tinge to everything. The platform we were on was covered with slippery algae. I could feel a little pressure on my ears so I went to equalize again, and BAM. I could feel a pop, and then bubbles were coming from my right ear. Ruptured it, so I couldn't finish my training dives.
Got it checked out today. It's a minor tear that should heal in two weeks. So, no long term damage. No hearing loss. And I should be able to dive again. But I have this nagging feeling it will recur
. It's not the first time I've ripped it. We are supposed to be diving Grand Turk in early September. I have time to do more training dives post vacation. But I'm worried. It's something that I can finally do to meet one of K's desires, and instead I'm broken.
She was really sweet and took good care of me, but I can't help but feel I'm letting her down.