The events you describe are of the "trivial" variety to me. Let's see, how should i organize this...
First, the question is unclear, it could be taken two ways. So i am going to answer however i see fit. Last things first - i don't use the words "primary" and "secondary". I use husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, Spouse/Partner, and the people's NAMES. However, "strangers" (defined for this sentence as anyone other than my partners or their partners) might insist on classifying it using hierarchical terminology because that is how it looks to them superficially. And i am GUESSING that my Spouse's other partner FEELS "secondary" at times, but i try to do the best i can on my end to foster an "equal opportunity" situation, such that their relationship is as "normal" as ours (they have their circle of friends, spouse has met the other partner's family, they go away or spend entire weekends together, spouse helps them move their furniture or do errands, etc. that's what i mean by "normal" in this sentence).
So , before i answer the part about the golf and the office, do people like it better this way, where i break off in the middleof a sentence to explain in parentheses what i mean by a certain word and why i'm using it that way? Because i find it tedious as hell. But it's like i HAVE to do it or i'll catch flak from someone for "perceived hostility" or "ableism" or "invalidating people's lifestyle choices" or something i have yet to see. It is very exhausting. Humans are such a drain on my energy.