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Old 06-17-2013, 03:33 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,131

Originally Posted by Marcus View Post

You don't get to plan for other people how loving they are to behave toward you. All you can do is state your preference...

You do not have a right to get your needs met. They do not have a responsibility to meet your needs.
I'd take issue with this. If one is in a loving relationship and states needs, or desires... for anything! A romantic dinner with candles, more sex, more romance, more conversation, help with chores and errands, maybe a vacation together, just more quality face time, and one's partner(s) refuse, there is something wrong. I wouldn't tell a poly person, oh well, go out and get your needs met elsewhere, leaving the partners behind to do their thing. She loves them, she wants more connection! If they can't or won't give it, what's the point of staying together?

Moving in together is a challenge. It is ironic, sometimes you spend less time together once you're in the same house!

But what you say here, taken with all the baby discussion on your other thread, I think they are sending you a message. And that message is, we want you to give us a baby, and all you get in return is a roof over your head.

You do have a right to seek out situations which will increase the possibility of getting your "needs" met. The world also has the right to not give a shit. We don't get to just have all of our desires respected and capitulated by the people around us, our happiness is entirely in our own hands and putting it in the hands of others is going to cause pain (e.g. your current situation)
That just sounds very anti-social. Our friends and lovers are here to help us have our needs met, and to enjoy each other's company, otherwise why have any?

kitty, are you 3 poly fi? Are you considering moving back out? This whole thing doesnt sound very healthy or fun. Read this, stat:
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
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