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Old 06-17-2013, 02:18 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,484

Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
Quick Question is it ever a good thing to feel like the third wheel?
No, but this is much ado about your feelings which you are entirely responsible for.

Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
They will watch tv in the bedroom and if I am in another room they don't even attempt to invite me or ask if I am ok which does bother me because I check on them and make multiple daily attempts to be connected with them.
Do they know that you have the expectation that they treat you the way you treat them? This expectation is going to bite you in the ass (sounds like it is doing so currently). People behave by their own value systems and social instincts; you have yours, they have theirs.

Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
When I first moved in she would give me these long embracing hugs and now it's like I have to beg for them. It's a bit heartbreaking that I crave attention and don't seem to get my needs met for weeks at a time.
People change, frequently. Sounds like she isn't (currently) as interested in the kind of intimacy with you that she was previously.

You don't get to plan for other people how loving they are to behave toward you. All you can do is state your preference and live your life. Waiting around or begging (oh god please don't beg, that's such a turn off) isn't going to do anything but build resentment. Get out of the house, get a hobby, get some friends, do whatever you need to do live your life. However I strongly recommend that you move away from worrying what they are doing vs what they used to do and imagining that you have some constructive say in this.

Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
I don't know if I am just being insecure or if I have a right to get my needs met.
You do not have a right to get your needs met. They do not have a responsibility to meet your needs.

You do have a right to seek out situations which will increase the possibility of getting your "needs" met. The world also has the right to not give a shit. We don't get to just have all of our desires respected and capitulated by the people around us, our happiness is entirely in our own hands and putting it in the hands of others is going to cause pain (e.g. your current situation)
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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