My hangout night with Davis was low-key and pleasant. It was strange, the way we avoided letting our bodies touch, but otherwise it was very normal. I began to get tired early. When I mentioned it, he suggested that perhaps I should head home. He looked pensive. I asked him what was on his mind.
He took a while to gather his thoughts, then explained, in so many words, that he was still working on figuring out what he wanted us to be to each other. What he was comfortable with. Where he'll go from here.
In many ways, he's been building his life around me for a long time. I'm from the area where we live now but he isn't, he moved to this city to be with me. He even moved to the neighborhood that he lives in now to be closer to me. He said that he's considering moving, maybe far away. He said that he's trying to figure out what would really be best for HIM, and he doesn't know where to start. He said that he doesn't know whether to be mad or sad or indifferent about my handling of my decision regarding barriers with Clay, and still hasn't really dealt with that yet.
I let him talk. I told him that I supported him no matter what.
He said he'd let me know when and if he's up for hanging out next.
When he walked me to the door, I turned to hug him, and he moved away. It felt like I was living in a world that didn't make any sense... a world where Davis wouldn't hug me? At the same time, I felt like I understood, and I didn't take it too much to heart. He's figuring things out for himself. It's going to be an odd, awkward time.
He texted me later to apologize for not hugging me. I told him it was ok. I feel like the process that began months ago when I broke up with him is finally reaching a conclusion, but with him at the driver's wheel rather than me. I feel like maybe that is a better thing for him. To have some control.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 06-17-2013 at 04:41 AM.