I have issues with women. Huge ones. Don't trust them at all. So i'm with you there. However, what you're doing is showing you don't trust your partner. If I was him, I'd have left you already. Those kind of control issues are unacceptable. Totally. Those rules are ridiculous. I think it's inconsiderate to agree to a poly relationship and then restrict someone to that degree because of your insecurities. My first step would be to apologise sincerely for instating them,a promise to work on your issues and then the very most basic rule of only sharing things that will impact on other relationships.
If you really can't deal with not having that control over who he sees and what he does in his own bed, let him go. Let him have healthy and happy relationships whilst you work on yourself and then maybe, in the future, you can get back together.