Originally Posted by redpepper
She was so confident in who she is as a woman that only enjoys intimate sex with connection and bonding, a woman that doesn't like public displays of nudity and who cherishes going at a pace that is more slow and moves towards depth. I was blown away at how she took others approaches in her stride and wondered if this is real "poly networking," not going out and being a player necessarily, one uping the competition and getting all the good men or women, but also taking it slow, figuring out who we are and going with it. Letting ourselves be just ourselves and being okay with that.
I think this is amazing, and just shows the varieties of people that "do poly well". I do love the idea that there is such a wide variety of different lovestyles involved in this large/huge umbrella term and I think it's important to make sure that nobody tries to make it one particular style, pressuring others into doing it their way.
While something like you parties may be interesting, I really don't think that having sex with people I don't know would do anything to improve any sort of spiritual connection with them. I have done the sport sex and, while it was quite interesting and enjoyable on one level, it was missing a lot of what I desire most in a sexual relationship, which is the mental bonding. I know I am not going to develop a mental bond with someone I just met during a party lasting several hours - even if sparks are there, that's all they are. I know others feel differently about this, and more power to them for that - it's just not for me.
So I can identify quite strongly with the attitude of this friend of yours.