Such a powerful word. Companionship for me means a want to share space. It means spending intimate time. Taking opportunities to reconnect and share in eachothers lives. Talking about nothing or everything. Going out, staying in, reveling in the feeling of belonging to someone, something larger than yourself. A concept that in itself seems so damn simple as to be laughable, and yet the execution of same proves to be damnably elusive.
I like to think of myself as a grounded individual. I stopped believing in fairytales long ago. And yet I hold out hope for that companionship that all the epic love stories have. Someone who wants to spend time with me. Someone with whom I can share my dreams and fantasies with. Who won't laugh at them or me. The total ease of spending time with someone you truly love and care for.
Am I nieve in believing that such companionship exists? Throughout my life I have caught glimpses of this type if relationship so I have reason to believe it does. And I long for this type of connection with someone in my life. And I find myself longing for it with the intensity of a man dying of thirst who longs for that one last drink of water.
I don't see this companionship in gifts received or given, or fancy dates taken, but in the moments when you have the opportunity to really just immerse in one another. I miss having this type of connection in my everyday life. And I have no idea how to find it. It how to tell the ones I love what it is I need from them. For now I just feel as if I am afloat on a sea of uncertainty and emptiness. And there is no land in sight. I just don't know where to turn for help. :-(
Along for the ride on this crazy rollercoaster called life
Karma's a bitch and Murphy's her brother
I am, as always, only me