Originally Posted by Marcus
I would focus less on this book and whether or not it will get you closer to accomplishing your plan than I would focus on being honest with my partner.
Have you spoken with her about wanting an open relationship (or whatever it is that you are gunning for)? Has she requested that you find a good book for her? If you have talked with her unambiguously about what you want and she has requested that you do some research for her (which would tell me that she's not actually that interested) then so be it:
I have not read that particular book.
If you haven't spoken with her about it and she thus has not asked you to do research for her... what exactly is your plan? You going to slip it under her pillow and play dumb?
Long story short, it came up two years ago... she said it was a dealbreaker but we stayed together because neither of us were ready to break up. We had a fight a couple months ago, and we've been estranged since but we live together so we go back and forth between trying to put distance between ourtselves and trying to hold each other. It's... difficult and depressing. Thing is, she keeps saying she wants marriage but she won't even consider an open relationship... which makes me feel a little bit like she doesn't care about me. Also, part of the "pushing me away" thing is that she doesn't want to have sex because she feels it should only be for a relationship with a future. Of course, she's been ok with that for the past two years... but I think part of her hangup is what society says about sex. The other thing is she doesn't seem at all bothered by cheating in fiction, for instance she loves Don Draper on Mad Men. She's also had dreams where we'd be together while she was dating someone else... so a part of me at least wants to believe there's some part of her that is poly, but won't admit it because of how society views things.
Anyway... yeah, she knows but she isn't willing to go for it. But isn't willing to truly part ways either. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I guess I was hoping this book would help somehow.
This post was written while slightly inebriated by the way... so please forgive bad grammar and run-on sentences.