I've been in the "scene" since I was 17 or 18 (first online, later some play parties and just get togethers). When I met my husband that stopped since he is not much of a public person.
I am very much a masochist and a sometimes submissive.
Recently things changed in our relationship; now I'm very VERY much looking forward to finding new playmates to explore things with....
I am curious if I can get back into a submissive head space. I haven't been for a very long time, and I'm not sure how much of being submissive was being insecure and how much was just being submissive (I'm wondering because besides some relationship stuff that made us stop exploring that side, I also have grown a lot as a person, am much more confident now than I was before)
I really hope that in a year or so (maybe a bit sooner, who knows...) I can start getting to know the kinky people here and maybe find out where I stand.
I'd love to get to know someone I trust so much that they are willing to explore with me where my pain limit is. Where I dare to say stop only when I really cannot take it anymore, instead of when it just gets scary....
I absolutely love real sadists. Doms/Dommes who like hurting me because they like seeing me enjoying it is always fun, but there is nothing like the thrill of someone who literally gets off on hurting you, regardless of your enjoyment of it... (Of course, I'm a smart woman and will always only play with people who will respect safe words! No matter how much they would like to ignore it