Thread: Poly networking
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Old 01-26-2010, 07:39 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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So I seem to be getting very good at explaining why I'm not going to this party.

I am saying to those that ask, of which there has been about 4 up until now... "I don't want to have sex with my friends and don't need a sex party to help me move closer to those that I would want to start that kind of relationship with...I would like my friends to be my support and I would like to support those in it, I feel that would be jeopardized if I have sex with people just for the sake of it. Everyone means too much to me to have group sex with them just for the hell of it. I've done group sex and I know I am not missing anything." this is usually followed with, "it's a sex party?" to which I say, "yes it is," to which the reply is, "I didn't know that, I thought it would just be kind of sexy...I won't stay if it ends up that people have sex in front of me."

So that is where that is at....

The other night a new friend came over for supper with our family, she is from another city and is far more experienced in poly than any of us in terms of having many lovers come and go in her and her husbands life. She told us some stories that were perhaps a bit much for Mono to listen to. He left early saying he was "poly-saturated."

The friend talked so casually about how she dated a guy once with another woman that was also interested in him. They took him together on a date and shared the night with him dancing, drinking and eating at a restaurant. This woman is very beautiful and charming and won him over in the end as the one that would start a relationship quickly and have sex quickly. My friend took this in her stride it seemed and said it was fine that it had happened that way. She continued to date the man and so did the other woman and they went at different speeds and each brought him different things as he did with them. She was so confident in who she is as a woman that only enjoys intimate sex with connection and bonding, a woman that doesn't like public displays of nudity and who cherishes going at a pace that is more slow and moves towards depth. I was blown away at how she took others approaches in her stride and wondered if this is real "poly networking," not going out and being a player necessarily, one uping the competition and getting all the good men or women, but also taking it slow, figuring out who we are and going with it. Letting ourselves be just ourselves and being okay with that. Those that have poly experience seem to get that in each other and I am getting that too now. I hope that makes sense. .... It's just so unlike regular mono dating... it's really a completely different thing. I think I understand the term "poly networking" now, as opposed to "poly swinging."

Twice this week I have been invited to sex related events. One was to receive a yoni massage (massage of the vagina) and the other was today to go to a spiritual yet sexual event where we would have sex and intimacy in a group setting somehow and under the context of spirituality and connection to each other and everything.

Both are very intriguing and I would love to experience both very much but I am not able to because of the boundaries I have in place with my loves. I have some disappointment around it for sure but I am weighing it up with the love I have in my life and what I want my future to be. Experiencing something like either would be a once time thing, my relationships will be for the long term if I chose to stick with them. I am sticking with them. I am seeing it like a holiday missed with friends or a good price on a ticket missed because I didn't have enough money or I have to work. I have that same feeling, but it passes.

I am working on sexual self care in terms of poly networking very hard right now... it's pushing me, but I am holding fast to see what happens when I do.
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Last edited by NeonKaos; 01-26-2010 at 01:44 PM. Reason: merge posts
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