I hate my job right now. First time I've worked full time in an office since college or having my babies. I was excited to work full time, and have benefits. But it's not doing it for me. I loved the autonomy of my previous job, which worked out to full time hours when I added in extra consulting gigs I got on the side. I got to be social, recognized for my achievements, in control of my schedule and agenda, and really energized by the work I was doing. This job had the promise of most of that....but it hasn't turned out that way.
I work for a non-profit, which really fits me because I have to feel passionate for the work I'm doing. I am a perfectionist, and sort of a cocky SOB. I tend to see the whole picture, and what should be done to achieve a goal. I can't fucking stand it when people are incompetent. Drives me bat shit crazy. Unfortunately, the organization I work for currently is a mess. Our mission statement is ineffectual, there is no cohesive branding or marketing message, and as a whole the community is damn confused about what we do. My job is in community relations and fundraising, and it's impossible to do without a clear mission and direction. What sucks is that I can't just make that happen....we have an executive director who is wishy washy and clueless, and a board of directors that are so far removed from what we are doing, that they make stupid decisions. After being here for 7 months, I'm ready to quit. I have consistently pointed out the need for a clear mission statement, and from there a branding and marketing effort that stems from our mission. And yet....we don't have it. Back and forth bullshit about why that hasn't happened. And since this is such a small town, I refuse to burn the bridges and connections that I've made representing a shitty institution.
So I've decided to put my 2 weeks in on Monday. It's weighing heavy on me, because I'm not a quitter. And I don't feel like I got done what I came here to do. But realistically, my hands are tied. In the mean time, I will help FJ at his shop selling extra inventory on eBay to make ends meet. I do have a lead on a new job opening up working for the town, under a person I respect and have collaborated with on other projects. That position would have clear direction, great benefits, and some autonomy which is necessary for me. There's a good chance I'll get it with the experience I have...but I can't be for certain.
I have a motto in my life: If it's not working for you-change it. That's why we packed up 4 kids and moved from a big city to a rural part of the country. That's why FJ quit his job and started his business on a boot-strap budget. It's why we stopped homeschooling the kids and put them in public school. I refuse to waste one second being miserable in my life if I have the power to change the circumstances. So here I go again....it doesn't get easier or less scary.
franchescasc-33, bi female, likely monogomish formerly in triad relationship with:
FJ-36, married 15 yrs
MD-35, gf for 8 months
Currently dating SM, male, 40, monogamous