OK Cupid worked for me. I met my gf (4 1/2 years into relationship), and bf (1 1/2 years relationship) there. They were both above 90% matches with me there, and it's been wonderful.
I also met some fun people to date for a while, some one night stands, and then there were 100s of arseholes to whom I never bothered responding.
Back in '99 when my ex h and I first "opened up," he was OK with a 3some, me getting a gf and him getting the same gf. He didnt want me to consider getting a bf. Even though I pointed out the hypocrisy of the one penis policy, he stood by it til the gf he found concurred. (One more reason I broke up with him, but that's another rant.)
So, your wife has a one vagina policy... ugh.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years