Davis called me today while I was at work. I closed my door and took the call. It was a short conversation. He said that he wanted to hang out tomorrow night (we had talked about doing that previously, but then had left it up in the air after our fight). I'm going to go to his place and cut his hair, he's going to cook dinner, and we're going to watch cartoons. He stipulated that I wouldn't be staying the night.
After we hung up, I put my head down on my desk and cried in relief. I've honestly made my peace with the idea that we might not be physically intimate any more. I half think it would be better. I'm just so glad to not be losing him as a friend (at least not yet, anything could still happen, of course). Who else knows me as well as he does? Who else do I know, for an absolute fact, will always be there if I need them? Who else is him? No one.
Gia got a new job! It pays better than her old one, and it's close-ish to my work. We'll be able to get lunch sometimes.
I was feeling a little melancholy about Clay today, like he'd been ignoring me and I didn't know why. Finally, I decided to message him in the evening, just to say hi, but I felt like a bit of a besotted fool for doing so. Then I checked our chat logs from earlier in the week and, well... he'd actually initiated contact the last THREE times we'd chatted! Where was my weird insecurity coming from??
I realized that the thing that was actually making me feel neglected was that, when we saw each other last, he'd asked me to set a time for us to get together next for a particular activity. The next day I emailed him some possible dates (of which there were basically no good ones this month), and he hadn't responded to the email. Scheduling and not being ignored, these things really are important to me.
But... we've already had a conversation about scheduling, I know he works differently than I do when it comes to communication around this topic, and he's been clear that I'm welcome to pester him if need be. Truly no reason for me to be out of sorts about it, none whatsoever. It helped a lot to think all that through. It looks like he and I will see each other the night after next (though just at a party he's running, not for the activity I'd emailed about).