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Old 06-14-2013, 04:58 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,711

Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
If your relationship with your husband is so fulfilling why the quest for a third? In my marriage something was missing for me.
Not directly related to this thread, but I had to respond to this part. My relationship with my husband was/is fulfilling all by itself...I didn't really feel like there was anything "missing" per se. (Although, to be perfectly fair, I wasn't "looking" for another partner - I just happened to find one anyone.)

I don't think that you have to look at it like "I need someone that has the exact qualities that my first partner lacks." If I ran into someone with the exact same qualities as my husband ... I would probably like them TOO (after all, I liked my husband from the get-go ). You like a person for who THEY are, in and of themselves, NOT how they compare to your existing partners or fit into the "gaps" in your life. Interesting, lovable people are interesting and lovable, regardless of who else I am involved with...

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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