I discovered polyamory through someone I know who had a blog about it. After my husband and I separated, I started reading her blog and other poly sites, and thought the idea of polyamory made sense. I was always someone who loves easily and, since I was embarking on dating for the first time in over a decade, knew I didn't want something exclusive again.
For me, poly is a practice, not an identity - it's just one possible structure or approach to relationships. I could be happy in a monogamous relationship again, with the right open-minded kind of person, because I'm not so arrogant nor deluded to believe that poly is the only relationship structure in which a person's freedom and autonomy can be preserved and respected. My happiness is an inside job, and is not dependent upon how many people I can have sex with! I have observed many wonderful, beautiful, loving, and cooperative monogamous relationships in my lifetime. However, I don't see myself getting into one anytime soon, at least not in the next five or so years, if it does.
For now I am certain that I want to have multiple relationships, but I am not about to pursue people just for the sake of having declared myself a polyamorist. I'm not into "collecting partners." Rather, I am open to possibilities. I want somewhat more casual or loose arrangements, which means I do not want any of them to be entwined partnerships, nor do I wish to live with anyone again.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 06-16-2013 at 11:07 AM.