Originally Posted by Marcus
Wow. Compared to folks new to this kind of situation, you are WAY ahead of the game. You've identified that you are having an emotional response which is conflicting with what you know to be true about reality.
Thank you for that! Feels good, man.
And thank you to the rest of the group for the advice. I will plan some fun things for me and the boys (6 and 3 BTW) and maybe have one of my guy friends over for drinks or something and hope for the best! I like the idea of a specific check in time, so I don't have to constantly think about WHEN she will check in. Probably less stress for her too. I'm sort of relieved to know that this isn't easy for most people...I was beginning to question my poly-skills. It was fairly easy to conquer my fear of loss, etc when they first started this, so my aversion to the overnight thing kind of caught me by surprise.
I'm not a solitary type of person. I love being around other people, so I never really look forward to ANY alone time, as odd as that may sound. J on the other hand LOVES it, so the good news is that when the shoe is on the other foot, she will be much less of a wreck than me, hopefully.
Gala - I have actually read those links before and just want to say that you are a big help already and don't even know it. The Poly Hell post was especially helpful in explaining how I was feeling about L "invading" my life. J is actually pretty good about respecting our "connecting" time and we have begun to incorporate before/after care since reading your post on that a month ago.
As for the advice about J's "working on it", I actually read that post to her last night and she agreed to hurry it up. Which brings us to trying to figure out the best way to meet people. I figure online is pretty much the number one option. So, which sites are good?
We have friends on Kassidie and they say they have met some cool people there. Any other suggestions from experience?
We just really want to meet others like us that we (or I or she) might click with. If nothing else, it would be nice to have friends that understand us, as my current friends think I'm totally insane for "allowing" my wife to have a boyfriend. It would be kind of funny if it weren't so tragic.