Hey there. Just out of curiosity, I did a little search and found something PN wrote to you in this forum. It's really beautiful, and generous, and really all about how loving someone need not have limitations or be made to fit into a little box.
I think what he wrote, which was from his perspective to you, could also be something from your perspective, that you could apply to looking at your relationship with Mono, or anyone you love. I bolded the parts that stood out to me:
Originally Posted by polynerdist
redpepper wrote: "I am at a weird transition with him in that I am not sure of my role in his life."
I can understand how this is unsettling for you. A lot has happened, and continues to happen. Many things have changed. Personally, I think it is a momentous occasion to be able to throw some of the roles that we have played into the trash. It's the beginning of another level of freedom. The freedom to BE.
redpepper wrote: "I am not what he would like me to be. "
On the contrary. I want you to be *you*. You are doing that. How could I not want that? Many years ago, I did not fall in love with a "thing," I fell in love with a person: you.
redpepper wrote: "I am just as loved, but I am off in another direction, pulled by Mono and now derby and others in my life."
Your and my paths run parallel, then intermingle, then cross, then jet off away from one another, then turn, then jet towards one another, then cross, then intermingle, then run parallel again. Such is the magical dance of our relationship. In whatever part of the dance you or I may feel that we are at in this particular moment, we are still in the dance. We are *always* in the dance.
with love, Polynerdist