Originally Posted by Cleo
I love being home alone. To me it's one of the major perks of poly.
I really believe that people who enjoy solitude and their own company are the best suited to nonmonogamy. I read a lot of posts from people who don't like to be alone, are lonely when they are not surrounded by people, haven't spent a day apart since they met, can't sleep alone, blah blah, etc. Then they think additional relationships are the "solution" to that, only to discover that they are alone MORE because their partner met someone else first, or GAUD FORBID they catch "their unicorn" and feel even MORE left-out and lonely when the other two people start getting it on in front of them! I'm not saying it's impossible to transition from totally-entwined-monogamy to a workable "poly" dynamic, I'm just saying I think it's more effortless for people who have very independent lives already.
Recently, I received a compliment that I actually make plans to do things and THEN ask my spouse if they would like to join me. The person complimenting me was expressing frustration with one of their own friends who would cancel plans or not even make plans if their spouse couldn't or wouldn't go with them.