The funny thing is, I don't even remember my first overnight (mine or his - my husband's).
Maybe because the first overnights took place when we were more in a kind of swingers mode. One of us stayed out all night, but it wasn't really all that important.
Anyway, we had numerous overnights since, that were important.
Alcohol helps me, if i manage to drink just enough to relax and not enough to make me paranoid. That becomes harder to manage though once you're drinking, so when in doubt, don't drink.
Make REALLY good agreements with your spouse. Agreements that are realistic as well as practical as well as helping you.
for instance, saying "text me before you go to sleep" is neither. Who knows what time she'll be going to sleep.
But, "text me at midnight" might work. Or "text me at breakfast, time.... on day 2, just to check in".
Although for me, it was always better to not be in touch during the date and the subsequent night. And to reconnect when he got home.
Also be prepared that the reconnecting can be a little weird. Make sure you have some time for just the 2 of you, when she gets home.
early forties, straight.