Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Unicorns are often women with low self esteem and not much financial security, who want a Mommy and a Daddy to take care of them. Then they start feeling like 2nd class citizens, with no rights. Just a toy to spice up someone's marriage.
Are you talking of people who 'want' to be Unicorns or people who just find themselves in the Unicorn position, because as the latter that was not my experience at all and no one could ever accuse me of suffering with self esteem problems (like Daria says "I just have low esteem for everyone else"). So no, not me and I will really be hacked off if anyone thinks that (I was also, the only member of the triad gainfully employed when we met btw).
However, I rarely (as in, never
) see a single, poly experienced bisexual woman offer themselves up as a 'Unicorn' though. I have only seen such ads from women who have never been in a Poly relationship, whether they have self esteem or money issues though, I cannot say.
To the OP, I know it sounds like it will be a very bonding experience but remember, what you have with your wife now, is the uniqueness of that
bond. You can't just expand it to include another person. My triad did not start from Unicorn Hunting, we read everything, we wrote everything and we educated ourselves very well but at the end of the day, keeping everyone included and insisting on being intimate and dating together all the time, it will end up seeming tyrannical.
bisexual woman who has been a third in a closed, live in Poly-fi situation offers themselves up to do it a second time, whereas couples often come back after failed triads looking for another 'third') This should give you an indication on where the power lays with this configuration and who tends to suffer the ill effects after the relationships go south.
As for me, I would rather have my toenails, pulled out with a pair of rusty pliers than ever, ever
do that again.....It was all sorts of crazy, even with the very best intentions but no, I can't think of a worse thing to be than a Unicorn.
My opinion would be to swing, as others have said, there are women who love a threesome who might want a relationship with you both, at least it would be more natural, but otherwise, just wait and see if someone does approach you whilst just enjoying each other and being happy in monogamy, for most people (like 95%) it will never happen, as long as you accept that and are still very happy, than it really doesn't matter, you'll have all the love you'll ever need.