You're right, I really do need to sit down and really think about these questions, and then with him. I would say I'm just on the surface of these thoughts and have been for awhile, because of my own fears of the possible changes if I really do go there. Last year I just told myself, "Well, I'm having enough trouble with one relationship so I certainty couldn't handle another." Although, true to an extent it allowed me to push these thoughts to the back of my mind without really exploring them. I will try to push further with these questions, but part of me isn't quite ready to fully dive into this yet and I recognize that too. I wish it was as clear cut for me as it was for you early on.