It feels like I'm being forced to go into a relationship style that does not feel right to me.
If this person is NOT harassing you or pressuring you, but merely sharing that they have a different lovestyle than you, that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences. But if someone is harassing you, that is not cool.
Are you able to tell with the Asperger if this is harassment or not? Is that part of the problem? Are they preying on that to gaslight you?
If you are being pressured by someone to do something you do not want to do? That is not kind of them to do to you. You could say "No, thank you. I don't want to be in relationship with you." And walk away.
There are some people in the world who like to push buttons. Then when you come out to "prove them wrong" in the end they got you to do/give what they wanted. If this person wants to be in polyship with you and you are not willing/able? And they are doing the "c'mon, don't be so unevolved" schtick? Note they are not showing loving, kind behavior toward you from the beginning. Why get sucked into more
of that treatment?
- AGREE -- "I am too unevolved for you" if that gets them off your back faster. Really it is that they are too rude for YOU, but don't say that and have them hanging around bugging you some more proving how rude they are not.
- Or play the broken record. "No, thank you. Not interested in your offer."
If you being harassed? This
is what is broken. Get away from this person who is making you feel "less than" in your lovestyle and in your self.
You are NOT less than. You have worth, dignity and value just as you are. They just do not value you.
There is NOTHING wrong with being monoamorous (desire/capacity to be loving one person at a time) and wanting it to come in a monogamous shape relationship (closed to two people.)
This is your preference and you have every right to choose how you want to be and feel happiest in.