We are very newly exploring a triad, and all sorts of unexpected feelings have come up....you just can't really be prepared for everything. I concur with an earlier poster here who said that successful triads have started with one member of the couple dating someone separately and then slowly introducing the other member of the couple. For us, this all happened naturally-we weren't searching for it at all. I don't know about you, but my husband and I are nearly complete opposites, so finding someone who actually hits it off with both of us is pretty amazing.
Feel free to read through my blog, I've just started it, and pm me if you'd like. I posted a question much like this one (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44029
), and my fave advice was from Marcus:
"When it's good, enjoy the crap out of it... when the attention doesn't seem to be coming your way... remember that they aren't responsible for your happiness and take responsibility for it yourself. Remember that a "relationship" isn't a thing, it's just a word used to describe two or more *individuals* sharing themselves to whatever degree for a period of time."
Although we all enjoy the hell out of being together, having one on one time as dyad couples is very important. It's becoming more important than I imagined it would be. Feelings change-often very quickly-and expecting everyone to all feel the same is completely unreasonable. For me-I felt too much pressure to be on the same "new & exciting" page as FJ & MD, and I'm not. I have my own special relationship with MD that I want to nurture and develop naturally. FJ and I are not a "package deal".
Anyways, I could go on forever, but keep reading and asking yourself the hard questions. Don't think to yourself, "Oh, but we won't be like that/feel like that".