Based on your SN.. I can guess why.
Regardless of lifestyle, I am still a guy and am wired from the factory to be a certain way (on a different level than the lifestyle). After all poly/mono/fluid/whatever is are personal choices. This is more of a deep rooted thing.
I'm ready to change everything else but this is a really hard thing to do.
Can I be happy without the change and just moving ahead full speed... probably not.
I love this person in an uncommon unconditional way and am willing to work on it just the same.