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Old 06-13-2013, 09:30 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 125

Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
I know you didn't ask me personally, but chiming in anyway...

While I'd find that stance hard to relate to - and of course, with someone like me, you'd be settling for friendship permanently, as genital sex with me is forever off the table and not just a "sometime later" thing to wait for - I don't see anything wrong with it. Basically, I don't make any such hard boundary between a close friendship and a partnership in the first place... to me it's just a question of which of these terms everyone involved chooses to go by; there's little tangible, practical difference between "best friend" and "partner", IMO (R. and I use both of these for our ship pretty much interchangeably, too), especially if you're open for non-sexual but sensual/erotic stuff like cuddles, kisses, breast play with someone you'd still call just a friend.

I guess that's me having an anarchistic streak in regards to such labels, and a very strong need for independence that pretty much makes me suck as a "primary" partner in the usual sense, anyway (living together, shared finances, etc.pp.), above and beyond the question of sex. *shrug*
Haha, I should have replied to london's posts earlier too. When reading them, I thought, "So what if I'm not considered a girlfriend? I don't care about the label; I only care about the substance of the relationship."

In fact, I don't particularly want to use "boyfriend/girlfriend" in my non-primary relationships, because "boyfriend/girlfriend" would sound like we were riding the relationship escalator, which I don't plan to do with any non-primary. My current non-primary relationship is a romantic friendship, which is non-sexual by definition, and we're perfectly fine referring to each other as "romantic friend" or "affectionate friend". I don't think this title is inferior to "boyfriend/girlfriend" or "partner". To me, the only difference between a romantic friendship and a romantic partnership is practical life sharing (or the intention to do that), but that doesn't indicate the level of emotional involvement.

Oh well, enough rambling from the asexual relationship anarchist POV. I guess for most people, even as unconventional as polys, "bf/gf" is still more than any kind of "friend".
Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 06-13-2013 at 10:08 AM.
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