Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
RP, I'm in no position whatsoever to judge your choices, but I did want to say, if I were Mono I'd be deeply wounded that you're willing to consider exploring monogamy now, with someone you just met on OKC no less, when it was never an option with him. Why not consider being mono with him, as he's still your lover and life partner, if you're going to consider it with anybody? It would be oddly poetic if you guys flipped the script and did the mono/poly thing in reversed roles. Maybe it would revive your bond with him. Then again, maybe it's too painful to even think about trying to do that.
I have suggested we try monogamy. I felt that I freed up my life to be available to try monogamy. I want to try that and see if some healing can occur around his having tried out an open relationship without my knowledge or blessing. We haven't had a chance to heal and re-gain a connection from that after all.
I thought I had fucked up a chance at being monogamous but the truth is he liked that I am married. He didnt have to commit and could be rest assured that I was taken care of by PN in terms of all the things marriage covers. He never wanted to replace the marriage he lost with another marriage type relationship. He prefers I am occupied.
He's not deeply wounded. He says it was never an option.