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Old 06-13-2013, 03:15 AM
Chimera Chimera is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 66

Originally Posted by DFWPolyGuy View Post
Well, I guess alcohol is always an option...

I should also perhaps add that I enjoy the "V" where we all do things together, like a sexy three musketeers. I get the feeling, though, that they want kind of like two I's, where J and L have their relationship and J and I have ours. In other words, most of their time together will be without me. Which would be easier for me to handle (I think), if I had a sweetie other than J, but she is not ready for that. She understands that she is being unfair, and is willing to "work on it", but for now I'm not going to be dating anyone without her being involved too.
DFWPolyGuy, sounds like you're doing really well managing this so far. One thing we've both done on overnights is to send a good night text at some point -- early, late, whenever. Just a small gesture to say, I love you and you're still in my thoughts. I'd suggest making a plan with a friend or group of friends to do something fun. It helps.

I do want to say though that this last bit is a huge red flag to me! If you don't want to date, that's one thing, but you do. This is hypocritical behavior and can lead to serious conflicts in the future. It's' one thing to me if she says, I'm not ready, but I know I need to deal with my jealousy, so how about give me a week (or whatever). The "willing to work on it" without something concrete is a bad sign imb.
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."James Baldwin
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