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Old 06-12-2013, 06:44 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Me, I like fucking. I started having sex at age 14 and have enjoyed myself immensely for almost 40 years now (wow!). I admit that I have been known to fuck a guy on the first date. Sometimes I hold out and wait til the third date. Usually I can't wait longer than that. I've made some idiotic choices over the years, but even when I was young, I knew I was learning about myself. And having fun.

Does this mean I am indescriminate or undiscerning? No. I, too, prefer to have sex only with people I trust and care about. However, I am a very good judge of people -- this has been told to me many times in my work world, where I have to put together crews that work on intense projects together (filmmaking). Working on a film production is an intimate environment, and a variety of personalities get thrown together for a highly creative and intense purpose. Souls get bared, emotions run high, and we see what folks are made of on 16-hour workdays. I've had feedback from my crews that my projects were the most fun, cohesive, and smooth-running projects that they ever worked on. It's always said that on film productions, if something can go wrong, it will -- so the fact that my crews work so smoothly together is an indication that I know how to pick 'em!

So, it is a gift I have to be able to read people pretty well. I used to be naive but over the years have developed good intuition. And that means that, sometimes, I am willing to jump in the sack and get it on with someone before I really know them well. Perhaps I trust much more quickly than most, but I don't need to know someone's secrets, family history, favorite color, or even his last name before boinking him. That's just me. But I do have to like him, care about him in some way, and have a sense that I can trust them.

I don't see much difference between me and the OP - we just have different ideas of how long it takes to trust someone.

ChaiLatteWriter, you do come across as very intelligent and well-spoken, but the fact remains that you are young and inexperienced. It would only make sense that, while formulating your rules or disciplines for your life, you realize they could change someday as you change and grow as a person. Your views will probably change in response to your experiences, and it does sound like there is a romantic naivete at work here. Be that as it may, it's your life and you are free to live it as you see fit.

You wanted to know what kinds of responses you would get if you were to seek multiple relationships and still wish to remain a virgin. Sure, if you go to poly events in hopes of meeting polyfolk, there will always be a few schmucks who just wanna get into your pants. However, my sense is that there are all kinds of people out there and if you are honest and forthright and confident, there are plenty of polyfolk out there who will be attracted to you for numerous reasons beyond whether or not you are willing to engage in genital-to-genital contact with them.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-12-2013 at 06:51 PM.
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