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Old 01-25-2010, 04:31 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by Phantessa View Post
However, if I decide I want something other than a monogamous relationship then he could not do that, but he wants me to be happy it would just be with someone else. I respect his decision, but we're potentially in two different minsets. .
First off let me commend you both on your maturity, openness and caring around this matter. I am consistently blown away by how rational and compassionate some people can be when faced with these issues.

You're honesty is beautiful as is your husband's. The idea that he would step aside to see you achieve something is not one I am unfamiliar with. I also adhere to this line of thinking. If my partner of over a year requires some thing beyond my own boundaries than I would graciously step aside to let her pursue that. She knows this and also knows that I would remain as much a part of her life (and the life of my chosen family) as possible and healthy.

Sometimes we have to accept bottom lines in life. I have mine. Your husband seems to have his.
Supporting some one can only be done within the confines of personal health. Supporting some one is not going beyond your bottom line although some bottom lines may not be quite as hard and fast as people think.

My partner is often a little disturbed by how easily it seems I would change the nature of our relationship in order to maintain our friendship above all else. Your husband sounds very secure and very aware of his boundaries. You sound very aware of your long term needs.

Regardless what happens I imagine you will maintain a healthy relationship.

Take care

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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