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Old 06-12-2013, 03:22 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, Cleo. Going from having PIV to not having it in a relationship would be really rough. May I ask why C can't use condoms? Maybe you guys could try female condoms?

He has occasional ED, which becomes ever present when there's a condom in sight. I think female condoms would also be too big a pressure.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
From my perspective, I did and I didn't choose Clay over Davis. From what Davis had told me, I knew that upping my intimacy with Clay in this way would mean losing that with Davis. I chose to do it anyway. But Davis's reaction is HIS choice, so... who's more "responsible" for the change in the end, the person whose choice kicks off the chain of events or the person who makes the final decision at the end of the chain? I guess it depends on whether you see the second person's choice as a free one. I know that Davis didn't see it that way, he felt like he had no choice at all.

This is very interesting and something I've been thinking a lot about the last couple of days. It's true my BF made a decision, but I am also making a decision in hanging on to the hurt over his decision.
I know that for C, it was a big thing that he wanted to be free, and to feel free. For him, staying fluid bonded with me (which would have meant no PIV sex with his new GF) felt like a restriction I was placing upon him.
Ugh, it all gets so complicated! And yes, when you already have lots of other things, and stress, and work, and stuff, not to mention other relationships, it can get difficult to keep a clear mind.

Try not to think too much, is my only advice (not that I can follow it for myself) and spend some time with just you, to reconnect with yourself.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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