Im really sorry. I also know there's a big difference between wanting to meet a metamour, and being willing to exchange an email or two. Being shut down totally would lead to more discomfort than I would want to deal with. I think I'd feel like a non-entity
. If C is not going to become monogamous with Molly, he IS going to have to face dealing with the existence of other people in his life and cut that defensive BS out eventually, especially if they're more local, so I'm sorry he's not tackling it now.
MrBrown is right though, you are strong and you will make the decision that's best for you. I do want to change my statement though, your relationship with him might have more than one marked flaw - it's become compartmentalized when you wanted the opposite AND you're craving positive sexual experiences with him that you're not getting, and may never get if he's not willing to work hard to overcome ED/condom issues. I've dealt with both of those in relationships, and one of them is hard enough but I don't envy having to deal with both of them in one. *hug*