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Old 06-10-2013, 03:09 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,477

Originally Posted by ChaiLatteWriter View Post
...I still want to wait until I've been with someone several years and trust them completely before I think about engaging in sex with anyone.
Hmm, OK, you're in your late teens? You have a very low libido? You don't get horny, you don't masturbate?

Or, you have a libido, you do get horny, you do masturbate? But there's something going on with you around "Trust" with a capital T, to a very large (several years duration) degree before you'd want to "have sex" with a romantic interest?

Look at your unusual need for trust. What does that entail? Have you had others break your trust as a child/young person to the degree that you're unusually untrustful and even closed off emotionally now? Or, otoh, maybe you've been sexually molested and do not associate healthy sexuality with love...

And another question, how do you define sex? Penis in vagina only? Would you make out, touch a partner's genitals, give them oral, or allow them to digitally or orally pleasure your genitals in those "several years of dating" before you allow "sex?" Or no, nothing arousing at all? Even if they are aroused, you'd put up a barrier and not give then any release, ever? Or do you plan on only dating asexual people, or at most "greys," that is people with an extremely low sex drive? Or having romance with a poly person who can get aroused around you, but with the understanding they never actually have any sexual play with you, but only relieve the sexual tension by masturbating or fucking another partner? Would you hold them while they masturbate, or say, watch them masturbate on vid cam? Would you do non sexual kink or fetish play with them as long as no one touched each others' genitals?

No need to answer any of these questions publicly. It's merely food for thought.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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