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Old 06-10-2013, 07:37 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

Bowling went well and I wasn't too nervous - I keep forgetting that that Adam and Greg have been hanging out a bit independently of me, and that was odd, since they don't sit around and tell me what they chat about - that means I don't have to play "hostess" so much. It's been getting close to a decade since I've been in a three person social situation as the hinge of a V that didn't just involve a hello and goodbye hug & kiss. It was more than nice, I got to snuggle a bit against both of them while I waited for my turn, get hugs, smooches (God did I just say smooches? gag) and lovely smiles from both of them. I appreciate this so much as it helps set a positive precedent for me being in the position of a leg instead of a hinge at social events, something which I'm a bit rusty at, but I think I'll want to be refining that skill when it comes to Greg's other partners. I'm an outsider in a lot of ways when it comes to him and his partners, I might write about that at some point but I'm not in any hurry to ....

Greg stayed the night, and it was fun (and even a bit annoying) to watch them exchange geeky debating about Star Trek while we got our dinner plated. A bit of our date was derailed as I got emotional and had to work through some worries about us that stemmed from trust issues with Adam, and my ex, and my Dad.... seriously not my idea of being a good date, but it was nice to be held and have my hair stroked and be loved while I cried. Odd to have that comfort level with somebody after just several months.

I spent some time last week with my sister and while I was updating about my relationships she said she didn't understand poly but accepted me for it. That was probably a chance to ask her more about that but I didn't, since I just thought she "got it". She's known I was poly for a decade so I didn't have any clarifying questions ready in my head. That's good because I bet I would've tried to grill her on what it is she doesn't understand it and try to explain it until I thought she did "get it" That'd annoy the fuck outta her

Even I am having trouble wrapping my mind around Adam's comfort with the new dynamic. This is where it really shows that Adam has 25 years of poly experience - although we have work to do on communication (which I do believe will much easier once he figures out what he wants and how to negotiate and advocate for his wants instead of just agreeing to my "reasonable" suggestions) he seems totally OK with the big recent changes in my availability and the increased amount of time Greg is spending in our shared space. I got to revisit the fact that he's had live in partners in the past who also had three partners, and had to schedule like crazy to make time for everybody. I'd just really not been sure it was really OK since 1 date a week to 3 seems like a giant leap, but I think I've been reassured enough that I'm stupid if I don't just accept it.

I'm working on checking in and making sure I'm giving Adam what he needs in time and love and attention - he's asking for what he needs and wants time wise which is a BIG FUCKING DEAL for him, he's always just said everything I want is "fine" so it's a relief for him to identify something he wants and ask for it.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 06-10-2013 at 06:27 PM.
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