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Old 06-10-2013, 05:11 AM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 261

Originally Posted by Eponine View Post
I'm not a virgin, but I'm asexual. If all my partners were okay with not having sex with me, I could totally have several non-sexual relationships. And that would be the best for me!

So, it's possible to do polyamory without having sex. But just like non-sexual mono relationships are rare, non-sexual poly relationships are also rare. Just like mono people may be turned off by virgins, it can happen with poly people too. But if staying a virgin is what you want, then by all means stay a virgin. You have the right to have the exact kind of relationships you want!
Both asexual and a virgin here (and turning 39 years old this month... so my V-card pretty much is platinum by now ). I couldn't agree more.

Poly isn't inherently about sex (and I'd say that people who say "poly minus sex is just friendship" don't really understand relationships, period)... but for the vast majority of people, sex is a natural part of the kind of close, loving relationships they desire for themselves. So, yeah, it can take some time to find someone who'd want to be your love partner if you want to remain virginal - there's no point in denying that a "no sex" stance will diminish your dating pool considerably.

I would say, though, that it's less unlikely to find compatible partners among the poly bunch than among monos if you want to remain virginal... not only do polys think outside the box of what a "normal" relationship is supposed to be in the eyes of society (like, duh!), but poly also can be a very helpful tool in getting sexless 'ships to work happily, seeing as the sexual needs of a partner who does desire sex can be met by other partner(s). I sure know that it's a relief for me to know R., with whom I'm happily been shipping for five years now, doesn't need to shut off/starve that part of her life just because it's not something she can share with me.

Counterintuitive as it may sound to some: I've found that polyamory is quite a lot more common among asexuals than among society at large. Still a minority way of life there, but a noticeably bigger minority we are.
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