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Old 06-10-2013, 04:40 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Kameo View Post
I really don't feel comfortable dating someone with a very recent past of heavy drug use and severe depression . . .
I think it very smart of you to be cautious and not want to get involved in this situation now. It is easy to get sort of attached to the first potentials we come across when newly embracing polyamory, but just remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and it's better to be careful and trust your gut instincts (the nerve ganglion in the solar plexus is never wrong!). No, you don't want to get caught up in any drama with this one, no matter how compatible she may seem.

Originally Posted by Kameo View Post
We're still talking to her online and on the phone, but neither of us are quite sure how to bring up the fact that we are uncomfortable with her past drug use and other issues, especially being so recent.
As far as how to tell her, it's simple, really. With compassion, you acknowledge her and then basically say what you said here: "We both like you a lot, and I appreciate how honest you were with me. I am glad you trusted me enough to tell me what you went through. Obviously, you are a strong person. But, both of us feel uncomfortable dating someone with a very recent past of heavy drug use and severe depression. That's just not something we feel ready to handle right now, especially since this kind of relationship is new to us. So, we feel we are not the right people for you to get involved with now while you should be focused on your recovery. I hope you understand, and I wish you all the best."
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Last edited by nycindie; 06-10-2013 at 04:48 AM.
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