Thanks Anne. I'm really torn about this. I want to take things into my own hands, because that's what I do. But - if I reach out to her, I'm sort of taking the problem away from where it really resides - which is in HIS attitude.
He has told me she does not want to meet me. I don't think he made that up.
I feel he's not acknowledging me, and that's not going to change if I meet her for coffee. I mean it would help me immensely, and it would probably help her too, but I don't think it would fundamentally change things between me and him. The fact that he is perfectly fine with doing everything to not hurt her feelings, even when it's hurting me, is what really matters.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 2 + years