Oh Friday, thankfully you happened, just I wish I remembered everything of it!
Tequila was my rise and fall on Friday. My mouth just went with it. Screw the filter. I said what I had to, felt, and needed him to hear. C ( who needs a name, but haven't come up with the perfect one yet) and I discussed a lot of necessary things. He's not jealous. I don't know how many times he said that but he really seemed like he meant that. Lately, he's been more, I dunno, just more. He's not an emotional being at all. Sometimes I call him my SexBot cause he's rather Robot like which I find funny and endearing, mix that with being hyper sexual and there you have it, your very own SexBot. He's been cuddly, and touchy (hugging me from behind while I cook), smiling a lot. So last night I asked him if he's been this way because I have been getting close to Mouse. He thought about it for a few and slowly agreed that she may have a tiny part of it. He said he thinks its great that I'm getting to know her and he really enjoys seeing me smile when I talk to her and how animated I was when I told him she kissed me.
I asked him if instead of jealousy it was insecurity. This is where he though long and hard, silence filled the room till I couldn't stand it anymore. I emptied my drink, refilled and came back to a smiling answer that yes, maybe he was a little insecure but that he was excited that he is feeling this way. He's never been out of control of a situation or relationship like this and it's something that he's not used to, naturally, but it's not a bad thing. Just different.
His biggest thing is its out of his control and he's not included. He says he'll get over it.
He looked disappointed as I was getting ready to go visit Mouse. He hung around the bathroom door, leaning and watching me. I asked him if he was bothered with me going and he indicated that after our talk last night he wanted to take me out to a movie and dinner, since he felt he hasn't done anything like that for me in a while. Which is true but it wasn't something that I was keeping track of.
It was sweet and I felt compelled to give into him. But hurt at the same time because now I had conflicting plans. I messages Mouse and regrettably said I wasn't coming.
I know I hurt her
I want to make it up to her, but the kids are arriving home soon, so I can't just pack up and head for town to surprise her at work. Which I really want to do. Maybe bring her a flower. Or a cookie. Something.
I'm gonna go call their gp's to see what time they plan on bringing them.