Date still hasn't happened
Not sure that the date will happen. Nikki shared some things about her past with me a few days ago.. Very recent past actually, and things that made me uncomfortable. She told me about a recent overdose she had on prescription pills (purposely) and that she is a recovering meth addict (clean only a few months). She's also freshly out of a bad breakup with her gf of 3 years, and supposedly that's why she took the pills.
She told all of this to me.. and not him.. and I debated on whether I should tell him or not.. whether I should let her tell him.. but after she made it clear she wasn't going to tell him, I made the decision to do it myself. I felt this kind of information is something he needs to be aware of too and he's glad I did tell him.
I really don't feel comfortable dating someone with a very recent past of heavy drug use and severe depression. I am normally not a judgmental person, but I don't really want to open our relationship up to someone with those sorts of problems. Does that sound harsh? I know everyone has their problems, but I don't think she's had sufficient time to process the trauma in her life as of recent and I think she's looking for a couple to fill the void. I would hate for us to get attached to her somehow, and have her relapse in any way.. then it's our problem to deal with too.. and neither of us are comfortable with that potential scenario and don't want that kind of heartbreak.
We're still talking to her online and on the phone, but neither of us are quite sure how to bring up the fact that we are uncomfortable with her past drug use and other issues, especially being so recent.
In addition to things with Nikki, I have been reading a lot here.. and I've entertained the thought of dating another couple with a straight male and bi female. I think at one point a few years back I thought about it, but I never really thought that was something I'd seriously be interested in and I wasn't sure how he would feel about it. I brought it up last night to him, and he was a little shocked since it's not something I ever expressed interest in, but he had a few drinks by this point and said we should talk about it today when he's got a clear head, that it's not something he's opposed to. I think he might feel threatened by another penis and I think the thought of me with another man might be something he's not very comfortable with. Will find out more today about his feelings.
I guess at this time, I'm open to all sorts of poly configurations and relationships.