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Old 06-08-2013, 02:26 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousityNChance View Post
Thanks for your insight, yea we thought about what would happen if there was a stronger bond with one of us first before she would accept and love both of us the same.
She may never love both of you the same, is NYCindie's point. She may fall deeply in love with one of you and barely be able to stand the other. If the loved partner also loved her, would he be forced to give her up if she didnt love the other guy? Is this fair to the ones that love each other?

Quote:
It's not a problem for us as long as she understands that our love for each other is probably going to be stronger than the love either of us would have for her for a while.
Well, you don't know that. New relationship energy (NRE) can be, usually is, intoxicating and overwhelming and can overshadow established relationship intimacy for 6-18 months. Do a tag search here on triads and unicorns to see how things typically go when a lover is "added" and expected to love equally.

Quote:
We don't want to exclude her from anything and don't want to be excluded as well, but understand that bonds can grow asymmetrically and we are prepared to deal with that possibility.
Best wishes! You may not be as prepared as you think...
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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